Don't sing songs to a heavy heart! 
 The resident I have visited with for over 2 years, recently heard from two physicians words none of us ever want to hear. The doctor who did her colonoscopy, “You have a malignant tumor”  Then several weeks later her surgeon, “The cancer has spread and we could not get it all.”   I was present during both pronouncements.  Immediately, because I am a “fix it” type of person, I wanted to….well, fix it.  But obviously I couldn't. 

 So then I thought if I could say just the right words I could at least fix how she felt.  Even I knew I was wrong about that. So I talked to the surgeon, my pastor, and I prayed. Boy, did I pray to please, please if she could not be cured, to please show me how I can help her.

I remember saying to myself, “Listen” and “Recognize the problem”   A week passed and I started wondering why I knew to do the above, when it occurred to me that I took a workshop in 2010 at Westminster-Thurber’s (http://westminsterthurber.org/blog) "Tools For the Servant” workshop based on the book by Ph.D. Kenneth C. Haugk , “Don’t Sing Songs to a Heavy Heart, How to Relate to Those Who Are Suffering.” 

(The title is taken from Proverbs 25:20   “Like one who takes away a garment on a cold day, or like vinegar poured on soda, is one who sings songs to a heavy heart.) 

The excellent presentation at the workshop was by Joanne Foster.   Thankfully that workshop stayed with me, even if I didn't remember immediately where I learned it.  Initially I thought I would share some of the suggestions presented by Ms. Foster with our volunteers, but then decided it was important advice for everyone.   Here they are:

Listen:  Be quiet and follow their lead, Focus o them, NEVER share horror stories. Listening is the closest thing to a magic bullet in your care skills.

Love and Care are Actions: Send cards and notes, Make phone calls, Ask questions, Use humor carefully, Share reading materials, Assure people of God’s love

Words that hurt and NEVER should be used: I know how you feel, It’s for the best, Keep a stiff upper lip, At least……, You should/shouldn’t…..

This brave resident whom I have had the privilege of visiting is not an educated person, but she is a Christian. She doesn't recite Bible verses.  I don’t even know if she has ever read the Bible, but she believes in Jesus and she lives her faith. She has had more tragedy in her life than you can imagine, but she is unwavered in her faith..  So after her initial shock and recovery from surgery I reminded her that no matter what humans say or think, God has a plan for us and He will take care of us.  She replied, heartily, “OH I KNOW!” Then she told me a visiting pastor once sang her the song “His Eye is on the Sparrow” and it is her favorite hymn. 

The refrain of that song is:

                    “I sing because I'm happy

                     I sing because I'm free

                     His eye is on the sparrow

                     And I know he watches me”

She said “You know He watches me too.”  I agreed.  I printed out the words to that song with some graphics and today she asked me to hang it on her wall.

 People often say to our volunteers what a wonderful thing we are doing but I want you all to know that we receive much more than we ever give. We learn about bravery and faith and love from the residents we visit.       

If you have a caring heart and want to learn more about BBA, please contact me, Cheryl L. Newman at 
bettybrewersangels@wowway.com
614-309-4677

   

Have you ever gone through a rough patch and after a while the rough patch prompted a mild depression?  These last six months have been a challenge for me health wise and then several weeks ago I literally fell flat on my face. 

 With a concussion, and a face that looked appropriate for Halloween, I started to feel sorry for myself and became a little depressed.  To counteract this, I decided to list my blessings.  When I started the list I was in such a mood that I did not think there were going to be that many blessings.   What a surprise I had.  

As I started to write the list, the list kept growing until I knew there really was no end to it. That is when I realized how blessed I really am.  I started with listing the great, supportive friends I have and it just went from there.  Even I could not hold onto my dark feelings as the list became longer and longer.   I ask you today, in the midst of your troubles, have you listed your blessings recently?

One of the top blessings on my personal list, is our Betty Brewer Angel’s volunteers.  They all have had, or are, experiencing personal problems and tragedies and yet they chose to focus on making other people’s lives better.

Bev Scholes is just this type of person.  She is a little shy, although you would not pick up on that when she is talking about how Betty Brewer’s Angels is changing lives.  

                                          Bev and her husband, Herb, at Fourth of July parade.

Bev graciously wrote her bio for me when I asked her to share a bit about herself: Hopefully when you read the bios of our volunteers that will be posted every so often in this blog, you will come to realize there is not a stereotypical Betty Brewer’ Angel volunteer, Our volunteers come in all sizes, shapes, ages, personalities, and backgrounds but what they do have in common is they all have caring hearts.  If you have a caring heart, and would like to know more about the work Betty Brewer’s Angels does, please contact me.                                   

Bev Scholes:  "I am one of several Silent Angels volunteers for Betty Brewer’s Angels.  We are “extra hands” wherever needed. I have helped with decorating our truck for the Whitehall 4^th of July parade for the last couple of years and helped with passing out flyers to the many people along the parade route. 

 I am usually very quiet but the excitement of the parade and the crowd brought out a more sociable side of me. I am very proud to be one of Betty Brewer’s Silent Angels.  

I have been married to one of Betty Brewer’s Angels (Herb) for 48 years. I enjoy walking and the parade was a great opportunity to walk and spread the word about Betty Brewer’s Angel’s. I also enjoy working in my yard, sewing, and have started learning to quilt. I have begun helping with some quilting projects at our church for World Wide Relief. I am a member of Faith Lutheran Church where I sing in the choir and volunteer with a variety of projects." 

Thank you, Bev, for always saying “Yes” whenever we ask you for help and for being such a strong advocate of Betty Brewer’s Angels.  I call Bev and her husband “ninja volunteers” because they are unstoppable!  Bev modestly states at the end of her statement that she volunteers for a variety of projects. That is an understatement but is in keeping with her humble attitude.   Bev, you are an inspiration! 

For more information about Betty Brewer's Angels: 

email: bettybrewersangels@wowway.com

phone: 614-309-4677

WHAT'S ON YOUR BULLETIN BOARD?

Usually the first question people ask me after “Just what is Betty Brewer’s Angels?” is “How did Betty Brewer’s Angels come about?”  The inspirational answer to that question can be heard by clicking on this link: http://journeythroughaging.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/JTA-09-22-12-seg-2.mp3

But what people do not know is the daily struggle it took to make the Betty Brewer's Angels a reality. 

Many times it would have been easier to quit then to go forward.  To encourage myself, whenever I would read something that I thought would help me carry on I taped it to my wall by my computer.  As the years passed, many things besides inspirational sayings got taped to that wall. A mess! 

Coming back from vacation this year, I decided to get organized. As a result, last night I hung a real bulletin board….yes, I even used a level…feeling very grown up here : - )

Not wanting the bulletin board to morph into the mess the taped papers were on the wall, I decided to retype all the sayings onto one piece of paper that helped me go forward when I wanted to quit.  

So many lives have been changed for the better because of the work of  Betty Brewer’s Angels volunteers.   Our volunteers shared many stories at our Volunteer Appreciation Luncheon and I will be sharing them with you in upcoming blogs but for right now I am just happy we did not give up on our mission before it became a reality. 

 I hope the inspirational quotes formally hanging on my wall, and now neatly typed on one piece of paper firmly centered on the newly installed bulletin board, may help you with whatever mission you are undertaking.  

So here are mine:

Change does not happen in a day, or a week, but it grows with each decision you make when you make a positive choice instead of a negative one. 

A person who wants something will find a way...A person who doesn’t will find an excuse. 

Bear with one another, and forgive whatever

grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.  Colossians 3:13

Don’t worry about failing. He is with you and His Spirit will love through you. Jesus would never ask you to do something you are not qualified to do. Step out in faith.  <--This one I read every single day!

Recognize the problem...in other words, ID what is wrong.

Remind myself of a solution...Find a solution, a better way

Remain...committed to the solution and therefore the weekly goal...do what it takes! 

And last but not least:   PRAYER WORKS!!!!

I would love to receive any special quotes that have helped you! Please leave a comment on this blog or email me at www.bettybrewersangels@wowway.com.  

 If you have a caring heart, we would love to talk to you about becoming a BBA volunteer. We have men and women volunteers.  

REMEMBER THE SCREEN DOOR!

So today my handy-dandy magnetic screen door arrived. You have seen it advertised on tv.  The woman with her hands full just walks into it and it magically, by the way of magnets, it parts and closes behind her.  Likewise her dog cheerfully runs in and out of the magic screen.  So of course when I ordered the screen, I envisioned my dogs running happily inside and out too.  

The screen installed easily and I personally love it, but here is how my dogs received it.      

       Yep, they are afraid of it. 

 The only way I got either of them to even walk through it (with me actually holding it open), was to yell “Squirrel!!”   With that the little Jack Russell braved the opening.

But my larger dog refused.  She was just sure something terrible was going to happen if she tried this new thing.  It took many food treats and lots of “come on, it will be fine” to get her to even slowly walk through the door, with me once again holding it wide open.

 

This reminded me of times that I have faced changes in my life with much the same fear and trepidation as my dogs did today.  I envisioned my God was probably cheering me on and probably having a chuckle or two at my unfounded fear, much like I was doing with my dogs today.  My God knew that the changes were good for me and would enrich my life, but oh no, I, like my dogs, froze at the opportunity just because I was afraid.

 Be assured that the next time a change comes along I am going to “Remember the Screen Door” and hopefully bravely give the new change a chance without anyone having to yell “Squirrel” at me.  How about you? 

If you have been thinking of volunteering, but are a little afraid that you won’t be able to do it, I encourage you to “Remember the Screen Door”. You never know how your life can change for the better if you do. 

 If you have a caring heart and you have been thinking you want to serve others more, we would love to talk to you about becoming a Betty Brewer’s Angel. We have men and women volunteers.  Just contact me at www.bettybrewersangels@wowway.com  or 614-309-4677 for more information and I will lead you through the “screen door”.

BBA volunteers establish a one-on-one relationship with residents of long-term care facilities by visiting with them every week. 

 

What Are You Doing With Your Talent?

O

Oftentimes I think of how when Betty Brewer’s Angels has experienced obstacles, a miracle happens in the form of just the right person coming forward to help us.  We call these miracle people Silent Angels because they work behind the scenes and solve problems for us that require their special talent.

My plan is to spotlight, not only one our visiting Angels but also one our Silent Angels, each month. Today I would like to introduce you to one of them, Ken Hallion. 

   Whenever we have needed a professional writer, not my talent certainly, we call on Ken. I need to add here that Ken actually is a good writer so obviously he does not write this blog. All the grammatical errors here are mine alone. LOL!

After that disclaimer back to Ken….Ken lives in Boston. Since Betty Brewer’s Angels operates in Central Ohio, he cannot join us in visiting residents one-on-one. However, when we have needed a professional writer, Ken has responded immediately to help us

In addition to his full-time career, Ken also performs with The X-Band, which besides their regular “gigs”, perform in long-term care facilities and VA hospitals in their area. They bring so much joy into the lives of these people with their Rhythm and Blues.  I love it that they share their talents this way.   

Link to The X-Band's Facebook Page:  

http://www.facebook.com/pages/X-Band-Blues-Band/148261311859179?ref=ts&fref=ts

             .

Today I encourage you  to share your special talent with the world, whether it be with Betty Brewer’s Angels or another charity.  

Sometimes people do not think they have a special talent.  Did you know that being a person that encourages others and puts them at ease is a talent?  It is!   Each one of us makes a difference in this world, whether we chose to bring joy or add to the chaos.  It is our choice.

To find out more about Betty Brewer's Angels, it is as easy as contacting me at www.bettybrewersangels@wowway.com or calling 614-309-4677 . 

ART AND VOLUNTEERING?

Have you ever wondered how the process of making art can help people obtain a greater understanding of themselves?  This is just what will be explored at Westminster-Thurber Community's “Tools for the Servant” annual workshop this week, “Coloring Outside the Lines, a new approach to ministry.”

 We at Betty Brewer’s Angels are taking this wonderful opportunity to have our annual Spring coffee at the workshop to inspire our volunteers to help the residents, of long-term care facilities, who they visit each week.  Thank you Westminster-Thurber!

One of the advantages of being a Betty Brewer’s Angels volunteer is the ongoing training that is provided to help you help others.  This workshop is a good example of that. We are always looking for speakers and workshops to help our volunteers become better at what they do. 

Joel Wrobbel interviewed the speaker for the workshop , Joan Zeller,  a registered Art Therapist, on his radio show “Journey Through Aging” last week.  Just click on this link to listen:  

 http://johttp://journeythroughaging.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/JTA-03-02-13-seg-2.mp3urneythroughaging.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/JTA-03-02-13-seg-2.mp3  

As you may know Betty Brewer’s Angels is a 501©(3) non-profit charity with volunteers in many central Ohio long-term care facilities who are brightening the lives of lonely residents by establishing a one-on-one relationship with them by visiting every week. The bond we establish with our residents is so special.  

 If you have a caring heart and you want to serve others more, we would love to talk to you about becoming a BBA volunteer. We have men and women volunteers. 

Just contact me at www.bettybrewersangels.com or 614-309-4677 for more information and I will lead you through the process step by step.  Volunteering with Betty Brewer’s Angels is easy, fun, and can not only change the life of a lonely person living in a long-term care facility, but your life as well!

TAKING THE NEXT SMALL STEP

Did you set New Year resolutions or goals for 2013?  So how is that working for you?  (My best Dr. Phil imitation! LOL!) Many people at this time of this year give up on the goals they set for the New Year because it is too overwhelming, they just got off track, and then chose to quit. 

This reminds me of when Norma Silvers, Jake Brewer, and I started Betty Brewer’s Angels. Norma and I had been involved in non-profit charities before, but we never started one.  Last year Joel Wrobbel asked me on his radio show “Journey Through Aging”(airs on WRFD, 880AM, every Saturday at 8:00am), how we were able to do it. The answer was simple. We just kept doing the next thing that needed done.   Did we stop sometimes and think it was all too overwhelming and could not be done. Of course! But then we just took the next little step.  The result is today BBA is a 501©(3) charity with volunteers in many central Ohio long-term care facilities brightening the lives of residents by establishing a one-on-one relationship with them.

So if you are feeling kinda down on yourself right now with the February blues and have regrets about not following through on your New Year Resolution, stop and think what is truly important to you, what do you want to do that expresses who you are?  And if what you thought you wanted does not meet your new criteria, you can chose to change your goal/resolution.  Once you have a true resolution that reflects who you want to be, or accomplish, all you have to do is take the next small step towards it.  

Sometimes the big picture is overwhelming and scary so concentrate on the next, small step. Sound too simple to you? Try it! You will be surprised!

 If you have a caring heart and one of your resolutions was you want to serve others more, we would love to talk to you about becoming a BBA volunteer. We have men and women volunteers.  Just contact me at www.bettybrewersangels.com or 614-309-4677 for more information and I will lead you through the process step by step.  

 BBA volunteers establish a one-on-one relationship with residents of long-term care facilities by visiting with them every week. 

Small things, Great Love

So many people have told me recently that they have stopped listening to the news. The news was making them feel helpless and depressed because they cannot change so many of the bad things that are happening.  I admit I have felt this way before and actually sometimes recommend to people to take a break from the “news”, but I remind myself, and want you to never forget, that you do have some control over your little segment of this world.  Remember the words of Mother Teresa,     

“We can do no great things, only small things with great love.”

What small things are you doing today, with great love?

Betty Brewer’s Angels volunteers visit residents of long-term care facilities that have no, or few, visitors.  What sets us apart from other visiting charities is that we do not do what I call “hit and miss” visiting. Rather we purposefully chose a resident who has little or no visits from friends or family and then establish a friendship with that person by our weekly visits with only them. We are interested in them and their life. 

If you are interested in hearing more about Betty Brewer’s Angels or are interested in becoming an Angel yourself and do a small thing with great love, please contract me at 614-309-4677 or bettybrewersangels@wowway.com